baby alchemy

hospital tours

thumbs down.  although, the one we did tonight helped reiterate that we don't want baby w. to be born in a hospital if we can help it.

 we've toured two now.

hospital a is favored by our OB.  hospital a provided online registration for the maternity tour, fresh fruit, muffins and a variety of beverages, a professional presentation in a nice room with photography that sold the hospital and an engaging woman who knew what she was talking about.  she knew answers to questions and was a good representative of the hospital for people who are "hospital shopping."  it was still a hospital, though.  i'm not fond of them.

hospital b is known for being the most natural-birth friendly hospital in town.  registration was done over the phone.  no biggie.  the conference room was cramped.  water was provided, as well as about six (in total) packets of graham crackers and saltines.  hubby said it seemed like someone just grabbed them from denny's on their lunch hour as an afterthought.  the presentation included outdated photography and a few pictures that made me want to run away rather than birth a child there.  like a super creepy couple just standing in the hallway looking like deer in headlights.  presenter b gave a sales pitch and though she called herself a doula, seemed to be rather uneducated on natural birth practices at that hospital.  i felt no confidence whatsoever in any information she provided.  i knew the new baby-specific web address of their new site when she couldn't remember.  at the end of the tour she was completely stumped when another woman asked if her prescriptions could be filled on site at the hospital pharmacy.  isn't that a no-brainer?

we'll tour another one or two, just for comparison, i suppose.  if i want to stay with my OB the only other option is the baby factory.  i wish our society didn't create such fear around pregnancy and birthing.  it would make home birth or birth center birth such an easy choice, though that seems to be where the universe is leading us anyway.

poesía cubana

apparently bean likes it, because he was kicking up a storm while adam read him cuban poetry in spanish last night.  in fact, that was the first time adam was finally able to feel bean kicking.  in weeks past, here's how things went down.

me:  he just kicked.  did you feel it?

him:  i don't know.

me:  there.  did you feel that one?

him:  i don't know.

you get the idea.  last night, however, adam would ask me if bean kicked when he felt something.

i feel a little silly calling baby "bean" when he's more like a papaya right now, but that sounds even sillier.

we are heading into six months pregnant territory.  it feels awesome.

almost 23 weeks pregnant

baby w. has been kicking up a storm, which is pretty awesome.  it seemed to start during our anniversary couple's massage at the four seasons, ironically.  

and i officially look pregnant.  one of my students told me so, in fact, in the kind of way a little kid asks what that big zit on your forehead is.  "mrs. w., you are looking really pregnant today."  thanks, i hadn't noticed the 20 pounds i've gained or my protruding belly.  or my aching knees and out of breathed-ness after going up the stairs.  now i know what it feels like to be 20 pounds overweight.  if that isn't incentive to get back to my pre-pregnancy body...

i can handle the changes with my body, though, for now.  i'm kind of obsessed with my baby bump, actually.  but what i can't stand right now is MY HAIR.  not a good time to try to grow out bangs and grow one's hair past the shoulders.  they say hair grows faster during pregnancy, but this crappy in-between blah stage is seemingly never-ending.  i am now crappy hair pregnant chick.  this always happens after i've had my hair short for a couple of years and then decide to grow it out.  as it sits in in-between crappy hair land, i say, "i will never cut my hair short again."  the thing is. i've done this on and off for the last TEN YEARS.  so, i'm not going to say it this time, but i will say that it sucks.  i never realized how much self esteem was tied to my hair.

we went to our first bradley class last night.  i had no idea what to expect, but it was actually quite enjoyable.  

my dilemma of where to deliver still looms over me.  we are touring mobap next week.  we met jessica with the birth center and think she's awesome, but that little thing called fear still makes it difficult to decide either way.  so many things can go wrong during labor (i realize we are socialized to be fearful of the process and am trying to overcome it) and i would hate for something to happen and to have to be transported to a hospital.  if there were permanent consequences with baby, i don't think i could live with myself.

that's about it for this week.    

it's a...

 

dear baby boy,

yesterday you ceased to be an "it" and revealed yourself as a little male person to which we can give a name.  don't worry.  your name will be a surprise to everyone else until you are born.  it's going to be especially tough on grandma s.  she wants to know your name now.  

your daddy and i have been talking about names since before we even decided to have you.  thank mommy that you didn't end up a giacomo, duke, romeo or cassanova.  no offense to anyone with one of the aforementioned names.

love,

mama

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people have told me that it will all feel real after this ultrasound.  not so, joe.  it feels even more surreal.  my belly keeps growing and i'm feeling movement more and more often, but i can't wrap my brain around the fact that there is another life in my abdomen.  it just doesn't make sense.  obviously i know how he got there, but it still doesn't feel like reality.  the 16 pounds i've gained?  just a little extra ice cream, that's all. straight to the three b's- boobs, butt and belly.

20 weeks pregnant

halfway mark.  woohoo!!  six months ago, i didn't know if i would ever reach this point in a pregnancy, so it feels awesome.

i am pretty sure i am feeling baby move occasionally now.  prenatal yoga starts tomorrow and our big ultrasound is monday.  i'm nervous and excited.

more details to follow after the big day.

19 1/2 weeks pregnant

countdown to the big U/S.  five days and counting.  i feel pretty well.  still trying to figure out how to sleep with the snoogle in a queen size bed, but other than that, so far so good.

i've moved into the new and foreign land of "never weighed this much" and "never had boobs this big."  somewhere between 38D and 38DD to be exact.  if they get any bigger, i will fall forward when i walk.  not complaining, though i've pretty much always had enough boobage, so it's not like i needed bigger bazungas.  just trying to figure out how many different words for tatas i can cram into one paragraph at this point.

saturday we will tour our first hospital and sunday we'll meet with a midwife at the new birthing center in town.  decisions, decisions!  i still really want a waterbirth and am still feeling super loyal to my OB.  the more i read, however, the more i want to stay away from a hospital delivery.  no inductions, no c-sections, no bright lights and pressure to speed things up.

my belly continues to grow.  i've gained 12 pounds so far.  i am finally starting to look more pregnant than chubby.

i am excited about decorating the nursery and have started cyber-collecting.  

i will be back on monday after we hopefully know if we're having a boy or a girl.

fear

i don't know why but fear struck yesterday.  the first several weeks of this pregnancy i was scared and tense and worried the entire time that i would have another miscarriage.  that has slowly waned as the weeks have passed and we've hit major milestones.  but, yesterday i started worrying again that this pregnancy won't stick.  i don't know if it's because we are three weeks away from THE ultrasound or i think i overdid it at water aerobics or what, but i feel scared again.  i've not gotten to the point where i can even tell if i feel baby moving, so that's not it.  i'm not in pain or bleeding, so i don't know why i'm scared again, but it sucks.  i want to feel chill and confident again.  

bad mama dream | 17 weeks

i had a bad mama dream last night.  the baby turned out to be a boy (we're still not sure yet) and i completely neglected him.  not on purpose, but somehow while he was sleeping, for almost my entire dream, i kind of forgot about him.  in my dream, several hours went by and i had not changed or fed him.  at one point i was several hours away in another city and remembered i needed to go home and feed him.  traumatic.

on a positive note, i think i might be starting to feel him move.  not sure as i have no clue what that feels like or if i am completely making it up, but i think so.  i look forward to feeling it more.

three more weeks until the big ultrasound.  i'm still torn about the waterbirth issue.  i keep ingesting all the books i can read about natural childbirth.  i whizzed through hypnobirthing: the mongan method and your best birth.  next up: gentle birth gentle mothering.  

i found out my insurance does supposedly cover free-standing birth centers and midwives, so it's good i have options.  and the two hospitals that allow waterbirths, st. genevieve and greenville are both in network for me.   i am excited to find out more about the birth and wellness center in o'fallon, slated to open this summer.  they will be at the earth day festival, so i look forward to meeting them.

decisions, decisions.

16 weeks and counting

today i went for my four week checkup and got to hear bebé's heartbeat again.  there's something really calming and surreal about that.  it kind of makes it seem like nothing else matters.  you just cut me off- no worries.  i heard bebé's heartbeat.  you have slowed to a near stop in my lane to turn left when there's a turn lane, no worries.  

bebé daddy and i are trying to be more chill about life in general lately.   sometimes we are super laid-back and sometimes rather uptight with things/people we can't control.

i have started researching birthing options.  we're not quite at hospital tour stage yet, but soon.  i LOVE my OB, but would really love to have a waterbirth.  with her, it's not an option.  i am a pisces and have always been drawn to/soothed by being in and near water, so it makes sense to me to bring our child into the world this way.  however, there are NO options in town for a hospital waterbirth.  there are two small hospitals about an hour away that are options, as well as a birthing center much closer set to open this summer.  any other option would require leaving my OB.  she and her staff have taken great care of me since unsuccessful pregnancy #2.  that is worth a ton in my book.  so, at the moment, though i really, really want to have a waterbirth, i think i am going to stick with my OB.  ultimately, being in good hands in the most important thing.

four weeks from today, if bebé is in the right place, we'll know for sure if he's a him.  my doc said today that her sonographer is basically a rock star and i trust that, so we'll see.  at our 13 week u/s, she thought he was a boy.

on a mostly unrelated sidenote, one of my food aversions, almost since i found out i was pregnant, is spinach.  historically i have loved spinach, so that was a shocker.  i read recently that eating too much spinach can inhibit the absorption of calcium.  i'm pretty sure my body knew that before i did.  very interesting.

  

15 weeks | st. louis prenatal yoga information

i should be doing a better job at posting my thoughts, though i am just trying to be chill and let baby grow. 

two weeks ago we went in for another ultrasound.  i had a LEEP done in my early 20s.  essentially, part of my cervix was removed.  since the cervix is what helps hold baby in, occasionally complications arise.  i did a lot of research and found that it isn't usually an issue, but doc wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure i had enough cervix left.  2 cm is apparently what you need and mine is 5, so that was good news.

the incredible part was getting to see baby again.  the first ultrasound was amazingly happy b/c there was a blob with a heartbeat.  this time, there was a baby.  and we got to see it move.  some of the most moving moments of my life.  i was in total awe.

 

as of today, i am 15 weeks, starting to show and getting really excited about being a mommy.  i bought my first pair of maternity jeans and hope to start prenatal yoga soon.  speaking of which...quick sidenote...

i have had a heck of a time with one resource that lists locations around st. louis that have prenatal yoga classes, so i am creating my own list.  here are the studios i have come across with prenatal yoga in the st. louis metro area.  

maria carella  teaches prenatal yoga at big bend yoga center and brentwood center of health.

upcoming sessions:

SUNDAYS

BIG BEND YOGA CENTER

88 N. Gore
 
Webster Groves, 63119
12:30 - 2:00 PM
May 2 - June 27 no class June 13th 
8 WEEK SESSION: $120.00
TUESDAYS

BRENTWOOD CENTER of HEALTH

2558 S. Brentwood Blvd.
63144
6:00-7:30 PM 

April 6-June 1 No class on April 20th
8 WEEK SESSION FEE: $120.00

solar yoga on pershing

fridays, 4:30-6 with silvia.  please call silvia at 314-644-5967 to register.  

starfin/candle river yoga held at the heights in richmond heights (8001 dale).  call 314-645-1476 to register.  sundays, 12:15-1:45 

urban breath  on tamm 

upcoming sessions:

April 11- May 16
6 class session
Sundays, 4:15-5:45pm
$75
Instructor: Molly McMahon

jane's house of well-being in st. charles

tuesdays

6:00PM - 7:30P Instructor: Amy Soell, RYT $75.18 (6 week session for $70 plus tax) register online.

ok, back.  the ultrasound tech thinks baby is a boy, but she said girl parts could look like what she saw at this point.  we go back five weeks from monday for the big ultrasound.  thankfully, hubby is now convinced about finding out if we're able to.  we'll be keeping names to ourselves until baby is born, however.

i am getting my appetite back and not really feeling nauseous anymore, which is awesome.  from weeks 6-10/11, i felt icky all the time.  that made me grumpy b/c i love to eat and NOTHING sounded good at all.  i developed a huge aversion to spinach, which i normally love.  no weird cravings yet.