05/20/2010

almost 23 weeks pregnant

baby w. has been kicking up a storm, which is pretty awesome.  it seemed to start during our anniversary couple's massage at the four seasons, ironically.  

and i officially look pregnant.  one of my students told me so, in fact, in the kind of way a little kid asks what that big zit on your forehead is.  "mrs. w., you are looking really pregnant today."  thanks, i hadn't noticed the 20 pounds i've gained or my protruding belly.  or my aching knees and out of breathed-ness after going up the stairs.  now i know what it feels like to be 20 pounds overweight.  if that isn't incentive to get back to my pre-pregnancy body...

i can handle the changes with my body, though, for now.  i'm kind of obsessed with my baby bump, actually.  but what i can't stand right now is MY HAIR.  not a good time to try to grow out bangs and grow one's hair past the shoulders.  they say hair grows faster during pregnancy, but this crappy in-between blah stage is seemingly never-ending.  i am now crappy hair pregnant chick.  this always happens after i've had my hair short for a couple of years and then decide to grow it out.  as it sits in in-between crappy hair land, i say, "i will never cut my hair short again."  the thing is. i've done this on and off for the last TEN YEARS.  so, i'm not going to say it this time, but i will say that it sucks.  i never realized how much self esteem was tied to my hair.

we went to our first bradley class last night.  i had no idea what to expect, but it was actually quite enjoyable.  

my dilemma of where to deliver still looms over me.  we are touring mobap next week.  we met jessica with the birth center and think she's awesome, but that little thing called fear still makes it difficult to decide either way.  so many things can go wrong during labor (i realize we are socialized to be fearful of the process and am trying to overcome it) and i would hate for something to happen and to have to be transported to a hospital.  if there were permanent consequences with baby, i don't think i could live with myself.

that's about it for this week.    

May 20, 2010 5:41:19 PM

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